T G I (Fashion) F !

Today, Fashion Friday, July 18th, I air my grievences to the ill pressed shirt. I crinkle my nose at a shirt in need of a hot, steamy, P.J. (press job my peeps). Ironing is an art form folks, and unless you get a third degree burn you probably aren't doing it right. You gotta get in there, between each and every button, around both CLEAN cuffs, the inside and the outside of the collar and then hit it again when it is folded into proper position. It's an investment in time and a commitment to looking polished (boys and girls alike). Bottom line: No shirt should have more wrinkles than my grandma (sorry grandma-she doesn't read blogs anyway). That is unless the look is crinkly, wrinkly (I know, it's a lot to grasp, be patient). If you are not 100% on board with becoming one with the ironing board then listen up. A little birdie (actually his MOM) told me about the greatest no iron shirts on this planet for X chromosomes AND XY chromosomes. Brooks Brothers has invented the miracle shirt, which is promised to look good right our of the dryer or right out of the pile on your bedroom floor (I snuck a peek in your room-shame on you). You'll look all starched and ready to take on corporate America without having to fire up your Rowanda (my hubby will breath a sigh of relief). Better git while the gitting is good cuz they are on sale now-ish. See you and your starched and pressed undies Mon-dee. Have a helluva weekend.

BTW!!! Congrats to Krissy, my-soon-to-be-pregnant-boobed (you know what that means)-friend, who is having a baby (again)!

Meet Mickey on the right and Tom on the left!

You know that I know that you have always wondered what to call em. Come on, you know what I'm talking about: the big (or in my case little) kahoonas, knockers, canz, hooters, juggs, fun bags, chesticles, headlights... enough already we are talking bewbs. In a world where nothin' is FREE you gotta take advantage of a FREE little quiz to assist you in finding the proper names. AND they throw in a net value in case you ever wanna, well, take out a rider policy on your home owners insurance. Try asking your State Farm agent about that with a straight face! Anywayz, the funny little quiz on the right has all the answers. And why it matters is if you really like yourself some dairy is beyond me. Not happy with your given names? Try the site that called the B cups Barcardi and Coke by clicking here for another chance. None of this could be complete if it weren't for Bette Midler's Otto Titsling screaming in the background-so turn it up already. My, oh, my! Ramblings of a 34b cup a little bit dirt ball? For sure. Entertaining? Doubtful. Funny in my sick mind? Certainly.

Can't wait to meet your two too!

Bean's Birthday Bonanza!

Just as promised I'm back on the blogging wagon, ready to tell you all about Reenee Beanee's surprise birthday partay. Our little wonder woman had no clue what she was in store for when she arrived at the infamous Block E. The Shout House proved to be, well, something to shout about. Funny and incredibly talented musicians play whatever tune you can come up with-for the right tip that is. The perfect spot to celebrate birthdays, bachelor/bachelorette parties, girl's nights, guys nights, whatever. Our clan of MSU alumna consumed just like we did in the glory days (total exaggeration-those days are long gone my friends)(L to R Pruda, Miss Cathy, Bean, Moi, and Amy B). Damn good looking posse if I do say so myself). Ahhhhh, I remember... Not that long ago... I wrastled Pruda over borrowed clothes while she flashed Miss Cathy in her "don't mess with Texas" Escort while Ames rode with randoms on motorcycles and Shereen made whole milk lattes instead of skim for all the skinny biatches. Those were the glory days, my friends. The days of sneeking rides home with the Erbs and Gerbs guy and 208 Balzerzak. Bean basked in her 30th birthday moment of glory from the top of the grand piano (good thing she wore undies-kidding). Of course, no birthday bash could be complete without temporary tattoos AND even though we look like just more pretty faces doesn't mean we aren't resourceful. Tattoo applications courtesy of Amy B and her Belgian beer. Free kisses for strangers, and, er, um, my hubby. Well, BFF's gotta share don't they? Loves to you all. Must, must, must do it again soon.

Check out the Bean slide show in the right hand column. More propaganda to come if someone would email me more photos (hint, hint).

We interrupt...

...your regularly scheduled B cup blog post. I'm sorry. Really, truly, I am super-duper sorry. I meant to tell you all about the weekend... Dinner at Hank's, boating, gardening, Bean's rocking surprise birthday party (Happiest Birthday ever "reenie-beanie" I love you), but time got away from me. AND to make matters worse I left on a jet plane for the windy city this morning at 7am. Do the math and figure out what time I had to get up this morning and you'll understand why this blog post sucks. Listen, I promise, I'm gonna make it up to you. Golly, just give me a chance, would ya. Wednesday, I'll be back in the home town and I'll tell you all you need to know (and could care less about) from the weekend. In the meantime check out my recommended reading listed to the right. Till then... Wish you were here.

XOXO,

B cup

Fashion Friday: The revival of the "side-kick"

You read it right. It's baaaack! If you're like me your first go around with the side pony was rockin' out at Rollaway U.S.A. signing, "You must be my lucky star,‘cause you shine on me wherever you are..." But this is a different sort of sideways up do, not anything like the "I love the 80's" thang. The new was to sport the side kick is down low, just behind you ear and trailing down your shoulder to your bosom (if your lucky enough to have bosoms). A perfect compliment to your Zac Posen evening gown (work with me here). Wear it sleek with longer bangs or no bangs like Mrs. Kidman-Urban (what the hell is she thinking callin' her new bambino Sunday, and wasn't she born on a Monday?!?). A great way to polish your look for day. Wear it with big ringlets twisting across your clavicle like the ever famous (who knows why) Lauren Conrad. Rock it out like Electra-baby with messy no-do-hairdo with wavy bangs and tussled tendrils. If your thinking this is advise can't be for me, I don't have the length to make it around the back over the shoulder refer back to one of my first blog posts. Unleash that inner diva! But gents a gentle warning... No matter what you do, no matter how much you drink, no matter what the "dare" payout is-don't, repeat, don't do this. Girls only! Work it, rock it, own that reinvented style.

Speaking of workin' and rockin' it do just that with your weekend. I'll give you my full report on Monday. TTFN!

scrub-a-dub-dub

It's a little ghetto, but it gets the job done. For a hound who loves everything water having a bath is about her least favorite thing in the world (aside from having her temperature taken, yup, rectally). She 's not much of a grudge holder but she won't even look at ya when your in the act. For me it's a summer luxury to roll out the ole hose and scrub her down right there in the driveway. No tub to clean and no back-breakage getting her in and out of that tub. Rinse, lather (with none other than John Paul for pets by Paul Mitchell), repeat rinse and dry (I call this her hobbit look). Start to finish 6 minutes 23 seconds. I have it down pat. The best part of the whole experience last night? Wrapping up the K-9 bath with a "jet" shot out of the hose right square in the back of my unsuspecting hubby (I didn't know he could move that quick). The revenge? I must admit it was pretty sweet... Him launching a frigid glass of water through the screen on the second floor managing to hit me straight down the back as I water the flowers below (WTF?). Never a dull moment and never an opportunity lost.

I've hit the motherload!

Let me set the plot for you... It was supposed to be a quickie (your sick, sick, sick, I mean my shopping trip). Return an ill fitting dress and seek a frame flattering pair of shorts (near impossible, I know). It turned into a shopping extravaganza with deals doctored up with more deals on top! Fabulous percentages off of already marked down things! So glorious my non-math calculating brain couldn't keep up! It's a summer romance of a sale your closet and pocket book can't afford to miss (like you really care what your husband/wife has to say). Here is the inside pooper-scooper... JCrew, one of my favorite spots for fun, affordable (relatively speaking) fashions, has a mega, mac daddy sale rocking. Almost the whole store is on sale (in the Grove, can't speak for other locations) AND all sale items are an additional 25% off! I know! Tees and lounge-wear and blazers, oh my! I bought shorts (bought two great, patterned, bermuda style for my "skinnest legg-ed ever" MOM-none for me), a fabulous orange and white flowered skirt, a fabulously bright orange tunic top, a darling sleeveless blouse with a wrap around tie, a "sick-green" strapless sundress, a flirty tank perfect for a night on the town and a few accessories to boot for $150 bucks. THE PRICE IS RIGHT, Bob! But there's more on this fabulous showcase showdown! I thought I would see if my luck persisted with a stop at Express. Holy Hussy-ville! Nothin' doin' unless you are interested in looking like a $.02 floozy in black, silver or hot fuchsia (if this is you-lets talk later). But, I wasn't going to give up yet. The Gap is a tried and true favorite for some staple items and they too are currently sporting 25% off already marked down duds. On $25 that's, ok let me think... carry the one... I dunno, but its a good deal. Even the great InspiRED line of T's supporting a cure for HIV/AIDS are on sale-they NEVER go on sale. I scored a fun, red, long sleeved, v-neck, already perfectly broken-in and weathered looking for $11.24! You can't wait. Go now for the best selection, don't worry you can thank me later!